Bethany’s SPED teacher said she said something that made my jaw drop to the floor.
“I have to admit, I’ve only taught one other child with down syndrome in my whole career.”
How can that be possible?!
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Even though times have changed, inclusion is the mandate of the day and children with down syndrome are no longer sent to institutions to live out their lives in seclusion and hopelessness, the prevailing belief is that children with down syndrome will mess up our lives- or that they won’t live happy, full, productive lives.
My heart desperately wants to believe that FEAR is the terrorist that preys upon parents, driving them to terminate the life of a child diagnosed with Trisomy 21 or downs syndrome!
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[Tweet “You can be #afraid and still choose to do the beautiful thing- Choose #LIFE. #downsyndrome“]
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I can’t contemplate the possibility that someone might “get rid” of – “throw away” or “start from scratch”- out of selfishness!
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Surely people don’t throw away a child like bad batch of cookies- just because that child isn’t the right sex or doesn’t have the “right” genetic outcome.?
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For every 10 babies that were diagnosed with Downs Syndrome-
9 are missing-
Their picture never makes it to a milk carton, their names are never filed on a missing persons report,their birth certificate- or death certificate is ever signed.
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But each one exists by the determination and will of God- their lives denied by vain philosophy of eugenics and perfection.
WHAT IF this testing (eugenics) continues and we are offered early screening (and solutions) for Autism, Alzheimer’s, Hydrocephalus, Spinal bifada, Adhd,—- any genetic or any physical defect?
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How far will we go to have “perfect”?
I’ll admit- when we got the genetic confirmation that Bethany had down syndrome- an ugly thought ran through my mind, “It would have been better if she had never been born.”
But the Spirit of God spoke loud and clear-
“Really? For you Cindy, or for her? Not for Me! I love her with an everlasting love! I have plans and purposes for her life.
That stopped me cold. God is LOVE and we are to LOVE. I look at Bethany now and can’t believe I was ever afraid!
[Tweet “Who could be #afraid of a little #girl who #loves the whole world? #downsyndrome”]
He is transforming me and anyone who comes to Him! One way He has opened my eyes, is by giving me a daughter who happens to have an extra chromosome. He is going right to the core of my heart-
Want lots of love in your life?
Choose to embrace ALL the good gifts God gives!
[Tweet “Don’t let #fear make your #life choices- #LOVE chooses Life!”]
Surprising Treasure: God does gives us a choice.
He said, I set before you LIFE and DEATH,
but I tell you- CHOOSE LIFE!
I must choose life. I must love all life. Lives that are broken and damaged. Lives that are weak and struggling. New Lives. Young lives. Old lives. Lives seemingly that have no meaning. Bitter lives. Joyful lives. I must love the lives of those whom God has put in my life! Faith, hope, and love remain- but the greatest of these is LOVE.
I shared Cindy’s fears concerning Bethany’s genetic diagnosis. Surprising Treasures documents my journey as much as it does Cindy’s. My heart breaks over my own selfishness. The Lord has been so merciful, good, kind,and patient with me. However, my heart breaks even more as I am seeing parental short-sighted selfishness being justified and encouraged through genetic testing. I believe genetic testing is a tower of Babel. People inside feel “safe” living in the lower floors, but the taller the tower grows the more vulnerable it is to collapse. It may not happen until Christ’s return, but concerning pre-natal genetic testing and abortion, someday mankind will ask themselves, “How could we have been so deceived?”
The teacher’s response surprises me as well. One of Janice’s good friends from her school years, still lives in Bloomington/Normal and Jan still has contact with her most days in DT (developmental training). As young adults, these 2 girls can be the life of the party. I have seen her friend out at Concert in the park events and she is wonderful. She is up on her feet dancing and joyful like no other adult at the park. If Janice were to ever be up out of her wheelchair, I am sure she also would be up dancing.
There are many young adults with Downs who work around Blm/Normal. Some have a job coach to follow them on their job site. Others work independantly. They are all individuals and all to be cherished.
It is an emotionally difficult walk at time, parenting a “special” gift from God. You are right though, that it’s my own selfishness that makes it so difficult.
Recently I was ill with pleurisy and did not spend the time with Janice that I normally do, for a couple of weeks. This was so hard on me. Her life went on as usual. She was very happy to see me and dressed up when she knew I was coming. But I get down when I don’t have my “Jan-time”. I have grown to need spending time with her. She loves simply and unconditionally. She is the epitomy of patience and contentment. She is joyful. She has this awesome sense of humor- kind of “slapstick” humor. She loves to tease the staff- telling them “you’re fired”, just to get a rise from them. She loves to sing along with the radio/CD’s.
I will continue to pray for you both as you walk this blessed path that was chosen for you. Love to you all, Debbie
Debbie- who would have dreamed- way back in our high school friend days- that we would be walking this special needs path?! I’m so thankful God teaches us to live one day at a time! It’s everything that parenting is and then magnify and enlarge the concerns, the joy, the worries! Deb- your such an amazing mom! Janice is so blessed to have you! I can tell by the way you describe Jan, how amazing she is. As a mother- I think that’s what we long for- for people to see our child for who they really are- past their limitations! Thanks for the prayers and I’ll pray for you too! hugs
I had to come back and post- I wonder- what the percentage is in elementary grades compared to Janice’s age- of children/youth with downs syndrome? I wonder if that population has steadily dropped over the last 15 or so years? I know my post high school kids with downs syndrome than I do Beth’s age. There is only one boy her age and another little girl that I know of in Lawrence and they’re in a different school.
The beautiful Gabby video made me weep. Your writing about fear and love, Cindy, is so expressive. As a young OB nurse, when the abortion issue hit the fan, it seems all I heard through the media were arguments why it should be legal. I even heard reported that one (Christian!) doctor insisted he was doing God’s will by preventing “unwanted” (for whatever reason) children from coming into the world! I was stunned. How thankful I was to find a pro-life book that stated the obvious: just because we cannot yet see and hold the unborn baby doesn’t mean that child isn’t already “in the world.” God is creator of every single one of us. If His precious gift child is considered disposable, isn’t that a slap in God’s face? Perhaps not for the fearful parent, but how any doctor can “make a killing,” financially, in this horrid business is nauseating to contemplate. Dear Lord, have mercy, and turn the hearts of such doctors and clinics, through nightmares if necessary, to abandon such a career! I love you, dear Cindy. You are an inspiration. Thank you for speaking out from your heart so powerfully.
AMEN!- I think your statement “God is creator of every single one of us.” would solve the world’s problems if people embraced it! Respect for life, love for others- how did our society lose these basic principles? Because of my being adopted I was loudly pro-life. Now, I try to be compassionately pro-life. I feel just as strongly about it but I realize the woman is the other victim. The greedy medical slaughter houses that prey upon a woman’s fear and ignorance will be held accountable and condemned someday! I love that our Crisis Pregnancy Center is the only place in town now for women to go! (our Planned Parenthood closed) They have one of the new 3D imaging sonogram machines and women are being given of glimpse of the gift in their womb along with receiving prayer, love, and counseling. I know a couple who paid for all a young woman’s medical expenses and then came along side her as “grandparents” to her baby and support for her! So different than when my birth mother was told she was a slut and getting what she deserved to have her baby taken away from her! As Christians continue to rise up to love and serve – along with speaking the truth- I hope we will see more victory in this demonic battle for children’s lives. I love you Edy- and thanks (as always) commenting with such nuggets of insight and wisdom!
hugs
By the way, I love what you say, here:
“- all of us- in the same boat- broken by sin and our choices- living in a fallen world- living between the trees- trying to get back to our Father- making wrong decisions- believing lies from our common Enemy- struggling to make sense of things- afraid but not turning to the Great I AM for the solution- trying to be independant and oh, so wise, instead of surrendering to our Creator.”
When we finally do reach the end of our hoarded resources and no longer have any confidence in the flesh, we’ll understand what it means that “apart from Me, you can do nothing.” Thanks be to God, that with Him “all things are possible!” What a difference He makes! 🙂
🙂 Yes- it hit me when we started reading Gary’s book, that maybe there are two divided classes- us and them- right and wrong- saved and not saved- but the bigger picture is ALL need Him and His glorious Saving Power and Transformation. this perspective gives me a fuller love for everyone!
I feel like I missed out on a special privilege in life not having my own special needs child. Sometimes we miss great blessings by wanting life to be too perfect. I have learned so much reading about another special baby at Beloved Victoria’s blog….what wonderful things her mom and dad share about the presence of Christ in the unexpected gift of their special needs daughter.
Dear Shirley,
You said it perfectly! 🙂 ” sometimes we miss great blessings by wanting life to be too perfect” For years, I tried to be the “perfect” Christian, wife, mom, pastor’s wife, etc….only to come face to face with my utter need for Him to fill me with His love- Bethany has been the best thing I didn’t know I needed to illuminate God’s love. Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and comment. It’s so great to meet you. Blessings!!!