[Tweet “You cannot lose what God lovingly treasures in the palm of His hand.”]
To continue…..
Yes- it feels like you’ve “lost” your loved one. You have in one sense.
But have you truly “lost” something
if you know where to find it?
Perhaps “hidden” is a better word.
Your loved one’s true essence is hidden temporarily-
their spirit safely guarded by the One who loves them most.
(remember our verse in John- I will not leave you or abandon you)
I used to be sad and uncomfortable when we’d go to visit Marilyn when she no longer could communicate with us intelligently. Sometimes, she’d look at me with fire in her eyes and say something unintelligible like she was mad at me. Guilt told me she was chewing me out for not coming more often 🙁
But I know one thing-
Alzheimers, a coma, a brain injury or neurological damage
may have affected a person’s brain…..
but as long as a person has breath-
they can receive our love and most definitely God’s love!
Nancy Regan said it perfectly when she declared about her husband President Regan,
“His soul doesn’t have Alzheimers!”
Dad, Bethany, and I would go and sit with her. Marilyn was in the beginning stages of Alzheimers when Bethany was born. There were some silent years when we moved to Kansas, then my Dad moved to Kansas and after a lot of red tape, we finally got Marilyn transferred to an Alzheimer’s Care Facility here in Kansas. (thanks to her son, John)
My Dad would visit almost every day. He’d do her hair and nails, walk with her, and feed her, pat her hand and make friends with the other caregivers going through the same pain he was. *Make friends with those on the same journey. Some days, they’ll lighten your burden, and other days, you’ll be able to help lighten theirs! 🙂
When Beth and I would visit her and I’d say, “Hi Marilyn, you remember Bethany don’t you? She’s your youngest granddaughter!”
Her eyes would light up and fix themselves coherently on Bethany. She would smile, hold out her hand and say, “Bububububububu- bubububub.” And because of those syllables, Bethany began to fondly call her Grandma Bububububu.
She would snuggle close to Grandma- totally unafraid, not bothered at all that her words didn’t make sense.
“She knows me Mom. She says Bububububu- That’s Bethany- its me! 🙂
Hi Grandma! I love you.”
For the next 30-40 minutes they would look in each others eyes and smile. Bethany would stroke Grandma’s cheek over and over saying , “I know. I know.” in a soft soothing sing song voice. Dad and I would watch in curiosity, wondering at the “communication” that was transpiring.
Marilyn would beam and smile at Beth. They continued to “talk” with each other- eye to eye- heart to heart.
And Bethany would “understand” something- somehow- and pat her hand. All I can think of is I Cor. 13-where it says, If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not LOVE- I am nothing.
Love must be the language that transcends
our understanding
and limitations.
It must be so,
because I “saw” love connect two hearts
each time we visited.
Dad and I would ask ourselves, “I wonder why Bethany doesn’t seem to be bothered that Marilyn can’t talk to her?” I know it broke our hearts; we were remembering the vivacious, purposeful woman, contrasted with the debilitated woman who now sat across from us. But Bethany would even ask to visit the nursing home, “Momma, when can we go see Grandma Bubububububu?”
When Marilyn left the “Dream World of Here” for the “Real World of Forever Love”- Bethany was so happy for her. We all were. She had fought the good fight.
So here is the “treasures” I’ve found:
1- We can trust Him with our first breath- to our final
breath- and every breath in between!
2. He never leaves us- He will come for us!
3. I will be your God throughout your lifetime–
until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you.
I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 45:4
We can be fearful and angry when these “results of living in a fallen world” come our way-
or
We can fix our eyes on Jesus- the Author & Finisher! He is faithful and He’s promised to redeem His creation- we will not live this way forever – in broken bodies and feeble minds. No! He’s promised He will rescue us and wipe away every tear- to live whole in His presence forevermore.
Sometimes, Bethany will pipe up and out of the blue ask, “So is 
Grandma Bububububu talking to everyone now in heaven? Can she talk fast now?”
“Yes, Bethany! Not only is she talking, she’s dancing and singing to the One who never left her and carried her safely home.”
Surprising Treasures: New International Version (©1984)
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Thanks Cindy for another touching tribute. The Lord has blessed you so much with your ability to put into words the pictures we see from them. I look forward to your “Treasures” each time I see a new one. Thank you for helping us to know Marilyn in such a special way. Love you
you’re welcome Char- These times of “trial and sadness” in our lives- can build our faith in His faithfulness and deepen our love for Him- Eternity is a wonderful promise I hang onto with both hands!
Cindy. This is deeply touching. Bethany hit the nail on the head with her emotional genius again. What special times those must have been..for you to see that..and for you all to be together. Thank you for sharing this.
hugs Amy- her simple love- unrestrained- untainted by worry- is such an example to me. I always wondered- just what did Bethany “know” when she kept telling Marilyn, “I know- I know.” If a little child can love like than- HOW MUCH MORE does our wonderful Savior love us and comfort us- we had to go home but I know His Spirit stayed with Marilyn until He took her home.
Cindy- your daughter is such an angel!! I knew she would visit mom at Brandon Woods at times but I never heard the details until now. Mom had to have loved these visits and felt the unconditional love from Bethany. I never tried to make sense of mom’s babbling as I thought it was just the disease. On the other hand, I think Bethany was making perfect sense of the “Bububububububu- bubububub” and translated it as “I love you…I love you”. I am sure her eyes were validating this with Bethany. She was one of a kind and I do miss her a lot. I know she is now with the Lord and with other loved ones (some very recent arrivals) speaking with great clarity. Thank you for paying tribute to my mom. This was very thoughtful and well done!! It reminds me how lucky I was to have had her as my mother and for your family to come into her life as well as mine. Thanks again. John
She was a wonderful woman, John. Such a positive person and a hard worker. I remember thinking she had a “dignity” even through it all. Thank you will never be enough for making it so Dad could have the final time with her in KS. The older I get, the less “complicated” life seems when the bottom line is just love.
We are all grateful for the years we were able to spend with Marilyn. Grateful for the love that Chuck and Marilyn shared. Grateful that in Christ we never say “Goodbye,” only, “Catch up with you later!”
I LOVE THAT- Catch up with you later! Let’s not ever say goodbye – <3
Amazing! Cindy, I would love to have your blog posts in a book of devotionals. You have a way of speaking to the heart and uplifting the spirit. Thank you for sharing this amazing story! Hugs!
awww- thank you Rita- I have contemplated compiling them into a book- I “pitched” the idea to a publisher and they said, why would anyone want to buy what they can read on your site for free. Do you think its something worth checking into? We can email or FB privately 🙂 hugs my friend- very excited to see you published another book!!! hugs
Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I second Rita’s “motion.” Even though, perhaps especially because, we can read these “for free,” nothing can replace the book I want to hold in my hands. You cannot turn down corners or underline a website! You can tell your publisher that from me! Now, for the rest of the story: your description of Bethany with her grandma is anothr priceless tear-jerking memory. I’m so glad you shared it. Love is power beyond words. Like some music, it can leave us speechless, unable to explain, but just to relish with delight. I love you, and look forward to the day we can meet face to face 🙂
Me too Edy! You’ve given me so much support & courage to venture out and find my voice to share- wondering if anyone cared to hear… I’m going to go forward on both the children’s book- Momma, Who is God, and a devo book- Surprising Treasures… I’d be honored if you and Rita would pray I will be led by His purposes.
And- sorry- I don’t mean to make you cry 🙂 I hope they’re happy tears at the amazing, mysterious things God does! hugs
The tears are just my cup running over! 🙂
🙂
You know I thank God upon every remembrance of you! Praying for open and closed doors to guide you where He’s leading.
now my tears are running over my cup! 🙂
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