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Hi- this is Sarah- guest blogging for my mom today. I wanted to share what God is speaking to my heart for 2015! I’m hoping to “Seek To Understand” better this year.
To me, seeking to understand someone is usually a first step to loving them- in all their messiness; in all their possible misconceptions; in all their meanness, selfishness, and hurt- you may actually discover you can still LOVE them- because that’s what you’ve been created to do.- Sarah J. Gilliland
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Seek to understand…
It’s a New Year, It’s a New Dawn, It’s a New Day… and my plan for 2015 is to “Seek To Understand” better this year.
It sounds like a good bumper sticker, FB post, or T-shirt. I encourage managers to do it daily when it comes to giving feedback to their employees.
But what’s it look like to a Christ follower living in a world full of people that don’t (or possibly won’t even try to) seek to understand you?
[Tweet “Love one another, for #love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”]
The Bible tells us-
“Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.” Proverbs 18:13The Message (MSG)
And “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” (Proverbs 18:2).
As Christ-followers seeking to understand our fellow humans- our starting point is to remember all people are made in the image of God.
We seek first to understand so we might share God’s love and wisdom through conversation. (listening and talking)
And whether we agree with their decisions or lifestyle-or, especially when we disagree– we still need to seek to understand first so relationship is established and conversation might happen!
When we feel like getting mad at someone; communicating “facts”, and argumentative statements it should be a trigger to pause to ask ourselves- “Do I understand where ‘they’ are coming from? More importantly- do I really know who ‘they’ are? Does God want me to verbally assault them before I understand them?
Can I find someone I can have a conversation with to better understand who ‘they’ are?”
So many opinions and beliefs:
Gasoline vs electric cars; Sunday morning church vs home church or no-church; marriage equality vs. traditional marriage; public vs private vs home school ; ALL cops vs ALL minorities; immunized vs non-immunized; hymns vs choruses vs (gulp) rap music; republican vs democrat vs tea party; pants vs skirts vs leggings (see ladies, a separate category from pants?! But I digress…)
What would it look like if we took on the mantra of “I will not start an argument with someone I do not know”?
What if before you post a status about ALL muslims being terrorists you sought out a muslim who claimed to be peaceful? Got to know them and asked how her/him how what they believe about God and His peace?
What if you asked a black friend if they’ve ever experienced racial profiling? Read some background on Lacrae’s testimony and his Christian rap lyrics? (Note: He was saved through an “old-school” Billy Graham sermon)
What if, before you say “ALL leggings are bad and should be banned”, you wear a pair- with a dress- and discover they’re warm and comfy? And hello, elastic waistband?
These “seeking to understand” type discoveries can open us up to sharing our thoughts in a much more meaningful way than an argumentative post or bumper sticker.
The issue is not whether we will communicate (because God created us to be interpersonal, so communication is a natural, unavoidable function), but how effective and appropriate our communication will be.
[Tweet “Our speech can be a source of #blessing or injury to others- life or death. #words “]
Our speech can be a source of blessing or injury to others- blessing or cursing- breathing life or death. James is the wisdom book of the New Testament, and has a lot to say about our speech. Chapter 3 underscores much of what I already know through long and painful experience: The tongue seems to be more difficult to bring under control than any other part of our being.
This “seeking to understand” principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication and a vital step in living out The Greatest Commandments. Jesus had numerous parables, teachings and experiences to draw from- but He summed it all up for us hard-headed folks- didn’t He?
Apostle: “Teacher- what’s most important?”
Jesus: “You shall Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, soul & mind AND you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
I picture a lovely handwritten note taped to my bathroom mirror that reads:
[Tweet “Jesus gave us a clear #priority list- why not start there? #LoveGod #LovePeople”]
I’m not saying we ignore the other teachings of the Bible, I’m just saying we prioritize- Jesus gave us a clear priority list- why not start there? To me, seeking to understand someone is usually a first step to loving them- in all their messiness; in all their possible misconceptions; in all their meanness, selfishness, and hurt- you may actually discover you can still LOVE them- because that’s what you’ve been created to do.
Let the Holy Spirit do the convicting and refining on someone, not a rant on facebook. 🙂 As you seek to understand others better, let Him open the doors to have those meaningful conversations.
(Just a side note: Boundaries are another area to study when learning to love all- boundaries are also talked about throughout the Bible- i.e. in Proverbs- “Above all, guard your heart”.
Loving all people does not have to equate with putting your heart on a platter for broken people to continue to use, manipulate or abuse.
Sometimes the safest way to love someone is to just step back and stay out of their way until they’re proven they are ready to seek you out and be understood.)
Will you join me in a 2015 re commitment to Love God, Love People better?
[Tweet “Love #God- Love #People. It’s really that simple.”]
I’ve already fallen off the wagon today. Someone that seems to think they know me has a disjointed view and misinformation and it frustrates me- oh, how I would love to just get defensive!
Someone else cut me off on the way to work this morning and I wanted to be mad at them. But I got to work and prayed for the driver- that the rest of their drive would be safe; that if they were late for work, they would work hard to be on time tomorrow and wouldn’t lose their job; that they would be comforted if they were rushing to see a sick relative; that if they were just a horrible elderly driver- their son/daughter would have the wisdom to take away their keys….:)
And that God would give me new opportunities to show someone that He’s working authentically in my life and making changes in my heart and opening my eyes to do better, improving our interactions bit by bit
Sarah J. Barclay Gilliland- daughter of God, first born of 7 in the Barclay clan, wife to Keith, mom and *bonus mom to Marianna, Finley, Cohen, Sophie, and Cadence. (coming soon- a post of how God can take a “yours, mine, and ours family” and create something truly special.)
Here’s more posts if you’d like to read more of Sarah’s nuggets.
Meet Sarah and Family :)- http://www.surprisingtreasures.com/who-we-are/sarah-finley-and-cohen/
On Praying God’s Will- http://www.surprisingtreasures.com/2011/04/pixie-dust-and-staples-by-sarah/
Sarah- I’m not just saying this because I’m your mom! Your wisdom and understanding of God’s word bless me. You’ve got me thinking about many examples where “words” or our need to explain how “they are wrong and we are right- preempt the Love that God wants us to manifest. hugs- love you <3
Love this wisdom Sarah! It rings so true!
Perfect post. Absolutely perfect. So helpful. Advice that we all need to hear and apply. Thank you Sarah.
Big dittos to above posts. Your writing is encouraging while also beautifully instructive, Sarah. It is part of something the Lord must be proclaiming across Christendom, lately. Just this morning I read about the response of Christians in Niger to having their homes and church buildings burned ( http://runintl.org )! And, in the recent newsletter from our missionary pastor who leads our Muslim study group was the reminder that we gain nothing by attacking another’s beliefs. We are evangelists, bringing the Good News. God’s Holy Spirit, as you reminded us, will prepare the hearts to: Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! I am so thrilled to read your keepsake treasure, here, Sarah. Thank you! <3