Is Love a Feeling or a Decision?
Is love a feeling that sweeps us away, releases feel good endorphins and makes our heart happy and our brain mush?
Or is love a decision that enriches our lives?
Yes.
Throughout our lives we’re called to grow outside of our old selves. New beginnings demand new aptitude. How many times in life have I struggled to begin something new with my “old”, comfortable skills? But new beginnings are designed to help us throw out the old, familiar vessel of our existence and receive a larger capacity.
[Tweet “New #beginnings call for new #aptitudes. #growth”]
Becoming a foster parent has made me reflect on the story that Jesus told about wine skins! No, I haven’t been hitting the bottle. 🙂 But I HAVE been letting go of my “old” capability and embracing God’s new wineskin that is superior to the old.
“No one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.” Matthew 9:15, 16
See, here’s the thing. We are constantly being stretched and transformed by the Spirit of God. As we grow and learn, our previous capacity (wineskin) becomes old and worn out. We need an upgrade to a new wineskin to enlarge our ability to become more like Him. The new wineskin He’s giving us is ample. It is stronger, improved, bigger and better.
My newest wineskin has a name- it is called Decisive Love.
[Tweet “God’s #love enables us to #love others without #condition. #Amazing #Love”]
Recently, we’ve been given the privilege of caring for a child. She is not a child knit together by our genetics or even by adoption, but by the tenuous strands of “fostering”.
And though I don’t “feel” the same “feelings” of love that I feel for my own children, God has given the gift of Decisive Love.
For Love is a decision- not just a feeling. It is a verb- an action- not just a description of how we feel.
We love because He commanded us to love like He loves.
[Tweet “For the Christ follower, #love is not a suggestion- it’s a #commandment.”]
To foster means to encourage, promote, further, advance, cultivate, nurture, strengthen, help, enrich. I choose to be those things for A——.
Bu that’s why I need a new wineskin. I need to be able to receive the “new wine” of the new covenant- that I am to love others as He has loved me; and that is completely, without reservation, without guarantee of returned love.
I have loved people without feeling goosebumps or warm fuzzies. But fostering is different. A—- is with us 24/7. I won’t lie. There are moments where it’s not fun and I’m frustrated. It’s hard to develop trust and relationship with someone who’s been in a lot of foster homes. It’s daunting to help her overcome her “learned helplessness” and encourage her to become more independent.
She is in the position of being my child.
We share few memories and no history but God has given me a decisive love, a commitment for her good.
I know this is from Him. I love A—– because I’ve decided to open my feeble heart to God’s outpouring of love. I have embraced His new wineskin. I can love because God is love and He generously lets me drink from His essence.
That’s why I always need new wineskins. If I try to receive His manifold, unending, immeasurable love- I will burst.
I love that God doesn’t let us stay small and limited. I love that He’s committed to transforming us and enlarging our hearts so we can experience more of His glory. I love that He offers new and better wineskins that take us deeper into His amazing, limitless love.
[Tweet “God is #enlarging our hearts so we can be #filled with His #limitless #love.”]
Today, I just want to thank Him- He – who is Perfect Love- that He stretches our capacity to become more like Him- reflecting, choosing, and acting with love.
Surprising Treasure: God’s Amazing Love
The Lord is good to give us preparation in advance of His next assignments for us. Still, this does sound like quite a stretching experience. I feel exhausted just reading and imagining all your new challenges. The joy of the Lord is our strength – seems like the prayer support I can offer on your behalf. God bless you, dear girl!
Thank you, dear Edy! As always you encourage and lift me up. The JOY of the Lord is our strength! and there is so much joy in serving Him. His “new wine” and “new wineskins” are more than enough to be able to rejoice and be glad in the Lord. Thanks for the prayers- you are precious to me!
Love is a decision as much as it’s a feeling. Decisions change us, that is why the decision to love changes me… and that change has the potential to change those around me.
Great post! I love you.
Agreed. I love the feelings of love but it’s so liberating to decide to love- because that’s God’s supernatural, amazing, joyful, no strings attached ocean of love I get to access! woohoo.
I LOVE those two words put together-Decisive Love. I’ve never thought about love this way.
Great post, Cindy!!! Makes perfect sense.
Thanks Julie! I used to be such a “hopeless romantic”- a endorphin feeling love junkie. But God keeps teaching me and stretching me to His kind of love- the “He loved us before we loved Him” kind of love. hugs and blessings
Cindy,
I too love those two words together – Decision Love. It is just that, a choice to embrace. We Love because He first Loved us- and I believe that we don’t just love Him back because of His love, but we love at all because He first loved us. I am visiting for the frist time from the Blogger Care Group and your words… they are beautifully authentic and faith-filled! What a testimony you are radiating! Keep pressing in, your insight and genuine expression bring inspiration and encouragement! I know the fruits of Fostering are hard to see at times, kind of like writing and a lot like loving; but don’t be dismayed – your love, your words they are nurturing faith seeds in the souls you touch. 🙂
I am so very glad to have “stumbled” upon your most-beautiful site!
With Cheer,
Brandi
Brandi- what an encouragement you’ve given me today! Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. You hit the nail on the head about the fruits of fostering and also relating it to writing! I’m learning to keep sowing seeds of love and words of encouragement- leaving the results to our Great God who will reveal Himself in His own way- in His own time. hugs and blessings- I’ll be visiting your site!
Love this – choose love! Choose to let God work through us and grow us. A lot of parallels here to my latest post. Cool how God works to put similar messages into different hearts at the same time 🙂
Thanks Kathryn! I love LOVE – the feelings and all but Decisive Love is an ocean of God’s unlimited love and I’m learning to live there too! I’ll pop over tomorrow and read your blog- Blessings and hugs! Have a wonderful Sonday! <3
Love in its truest is a decision because not every day will your loved one be lovable and adorable. Not every day will you be loving. Despite all that though, you decide to stick around and serve each other because love is a decision. If it’s based on feelings, no relationship will last because our feelings often change. Wonderful article!
I love this Lux- not every day will we be loving or loveable but true love decides to love- and God is our example in this! 🙂 hugs and blessings- thanks for stopping by!
Cindy,
This is such a beautifully written post on love. “Decisive Love” To decide to love. There are so many days when I could choose not to love, Choose to stand on my own feelings. But when I have my eyes fixed on Jesus, my instinct is to love no matter what I feel. He makes it easy to love.
Thank you for sharing your journey so transparently.