Dazzlers is the dance group Bethany has been privileged to be dancing in for the past seven years.
A beautiful picture of inclusion, Dazzlers ends each session with joining hands in a large circle, praying and after the Amen- they spell- D-A-Z-Z-L-E-R-S.
We might have missed the chance to be included.
I expect inclusion and respect from everyone in their treatment of Beth, but I am tentative when it comes to “inclusion” in extra-curricular activities.
I don’t really want to be in the position of “forcing” inclusion. I mean, if you have to “demand” inclusion- what kind of inclusion is that, really?
Truthfully: I didn’t ever dream of full inclusion on a “typical” performance dance team.
Thankfully, eight years ago, one of the leaders approached me and asked, “We were wondering when you were going to let Bethany join Dazzlers?”
Make that step 1 of inclusion: Arms that open wide the circle- Embracing and Welcoming others
[Tweet “#Inclusion starts with you: a smile, an invitation, a welcome, a conversation.”]
It seems to me inclusion starts with the other party first. An invitation to enter in, a welcome, a nod of recognition to individual worth.
I stuttered. “Are you sure?” “What about competitions?” “What about the recitals?” “What if she can’t learn the whole routine?” “What if she doesn’t pay attention?”
You see, as much as I wanted inclusion, I am realist enough to wonder: if someone can’t do something well, should they be “included” on a team that is competing? I mean, it’s a nice gesture, but is it “fair” to everyone else on that team?
Step 2 of inclusion: Take courage and Try.
It seems to me, the 2nd part of inclusion belongs to the one being offered inclusion. The ball is in your court now. Better to try and fail than not try at all.
Smiling, they said, “We think she’d love it. It’s about enjoying dance, using your talents for God, and being part of the team.”
Step 3 for Inclusion: Embrace inclusion with thankfulness and realize it’s on ongoing journey of learning and acceptance.
What I hadn’t realized, was, from the conception of Dazzlers, the leadership had determined to be intentionally inclusive. While they do enter state competitions, no one is turned away. All are welcomed into this beautiful dance team. (and while trophies aren’t what it’s all about, their studio is jam-packed with trophies.)
Caryn told me- “Cindy, we don’t care about the trophies, we care about the girls. We love Bethany.”
WOW!
Competitions, parades, recitals, and practices have come and gone but the treasure of pure, unadulterated acceptance and inclusion has built a foundation of identity and confidence in Bethany. It’s also taught me what inclusion really is about.
Finley, Amy, & Bethany- Competition Day
Inclusion is intentional.
Inclusion is arms and heart wide open, saying
“We will welcome you into our circle.”
Inclusion is a circle- just like a hug.
Dazzler teams praying in a circle before performance!
[Tweet “#Inclusion is arms and heart wide open, saying “We welcome you- come into our circle!”.”]
Cindy, I love that phrase, “Inclusion is a circle.” Ever since moving to Lawrence, Bethany’s dancing at The Dazzlers Dance Studio has been one of the great constants in the Barclay Clan.
and a circle is a hugs 🙂
Cindy, when my granddaughter was 3, we started her in a local dance class for her age. Her verbal skills weren’t wonderful at that point, and she had trouble understanding some of the instructions. They asked her to leave the class! This particular school was very focused on competitions. We were all heartbroken for her, but we enrolled her in another school–and she flourished. I want to hug the group that invited your Bethany!! Think of the walls lined with trophies for them in heaven, where it counts.
It breaks my heart- and often- if I think my heart is going to break- I will avoid the process altogether. Once burnt, twice shy. But isn’t God good to encircle us? Hugs back to you and yours, Serena! Thanks for taking time to share!
Cindy,
This is by far the best explanation of inclusion I’ve ever read. It’s what inclusion should be—what it needs to be—across the board. How refreshing!
A circle. A hug. So simple.
I’m so glad Bethany was included in the Dazzlers. Wow!
Hugs to you♥
Susan
Thank you Susan. We feel so fortunate and blessed to have been welcomed with arms wide open. It breaks my heart when I see the opposite! Sending you hugs!
Such a good analysis to help in understanding inclusion, how it is initiated, responded to, and most of all really enjoyed. I’m so delighted for all of you, especially Bethany and the wonderful circle – make that CIRCLES – she has in her corner.
Thank you Edy! It’s interesting, as I’ve thought more about it, that Bethany makes it easy in some ways to open wide your arms and let her come in- because she already has her arms open wide and let’s everyone in! 🙂 hugs