If I gave Bethany an icon, it would be a cute cuddly lamb,

but the Don’t Tread on Me icon could be my new “down syndrome” mama T-shirt. 

Benjamin Franklin esteemed the courageous symbol because the rattlesnake never begins an attack, And once engaged, never surrenders!

For the last year and a half, Bethany has been home schooled part time and public school for music, art, & speech. But something happened to make us rethink the benefit of public school and “inclusiveness”.

Bethany recently had a traumatic experience- not with the kids at school but with her para!

I was confused and concerned when Bethany started crying & begging to stay home from school.  I gave her a little pep talk about how she didn’t have to be afraid, prayed & sent her in.  Then she finally said something that thrust me into the battle;

“I afraid of Ms. ________.  She says I bad.  She says I have creepy eyes.”

[Tweet “Mess with me- fine. Mess with my #kids- RUN! #specialneeds #parenting”]

After counting to 1000 to calm down, I drove straight to the school and marched in to speak to the para! She hemmed and hawed and said she didn’t know why Bethany was afraid of her and no, she had never said she had “creepy eyes”.  The next day, I visited school unannounced.  I observed Bethany was not engaged or being helped during every class period.

I began interviewing other paras and teachers, some students, the principal.  I just wanted to find out what was going on and why Bethany had quit loving school.  And where she had picked up the phrase, “creepy eyes”?  She certainly hadn’t sucked it out of her thumb.

Jeff and I began to hear some disturbing stories from some concerned students which confirmed the limited story Bethany was able to verbalize.  Another para and three students had seen her being belittled, yelled at and yanked around.

Did I say, “Don’t Tread on Me? Or my kid with special needs?

For every parent with a child that has special needs- listen to your “gut”

Bethany’s fear, the little clues, and my “gut” told me-

IF YOU CAN’T STOP THIS –

AND SHE DOESN’T HAVE THE SKILLS TO STAND UP FOR HERSELF-

I HAVE THE FREEDOM TO PULL HER OUT!

[Tweet “You are your #childs #best #advocate. #specialneeds #parenting”]

She is afraid for a reason- and I may not understand the reason but it is real.

 We  pulled Beth out to completely home school again.

Parents of typical children may not “get it” but if you have a child that cannot fully communicate what is happening to them, and you read about other unthinkable abuses that happen to people with special needs, as their parent- you have to find a safe solution to the problem.  Our solution was home schooling.

A child with special needs warrants special protection.

I am my child’s foremost protector.

 [Tweet “A #child with #specialneeds demands #special #protection. #advocate #parenting”]

And just like that- it was like someone had flipped a switch off- No more fear! No more crying! But this meant that I now had Bethany 3 extra hours every school day that I wasn’t sure how to fill her time.

Along came a gift- I mean a real treasure of untold worth!

It came in the form of another para- who had retired but had worked with Bethany last year-

the year she loved school.  Her name is Miss Betty!

I’m convinced everybody should have a “para”!

When I studied  Greek, I learned the word PARA- comes from  παράκλητος

(paráklētos, that can signify “one who consoles or comforts, one who encourages or uplifts; hence refreshes, and/or one who intercedes on our behalf as an advocate in court”).

Bethany and I eagerly mark the days when Miss Betty comes to our house! 3 days a week for a couple of hours!

Betty’s “ministry” is a para- she doesn’t just help- She IS help.  She “comes along side” and uplifts, teaches, encourages, stretches. She plays, dances, sings, explores musical instruments, imagines and pretty much just “adores” Bethany.

Oh, how I wish I could give every parent of a child with special needs a Miss Betty!  The relief and joy I feel when I see someone else loving my child- as I would- teaching my child- as I would– encouraging her, enjoying, her and celebrating her- as I do! This is a dream come true to a parent who has the weighty responsibility and care for their child with special needs.

Because life can be hard.

It can be scary.

It can leave you bone weary.

Jesus knew we shouldn’t/couldn’t “go it alone”.

He sent One to be our “para”  so we have His presence “come along side us in our journey”. His name is the Holy Spirit and He lives inside of us to encourage and teach and give us a place of peace in this turbulent world.

But I also think He expects us to learn to “para”- comfort others.  Because it’s unbelievably comforting to have someone with “skin” on, who steps into our lives with encouragement and refreshing!

My thoughts today rest upon how very thankful I am for the MANY who have stepped into my life, and walked along side me to comfort and uphold me.

And I pray that God will always open my eyes to those I need to come along side, step into their lives and be a “para”- a comfort giver.

[Tweet “God never meant for us to go it alone. #friendship #comforter #advocate “]

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever— John 14:26 Amplified

Who among us doesn’t need comfort?  Who doesn’t need help or to be encouraged and strengthened?