My most challenging ongoing lesson:

 “Letting Go-d”

Years of protecting, nurturing, & shielding her from the “looks”, “nonacceptance”, negative experiences, or situations where she would flounder, have left me with a bit of a “nest” mentality.  I know the “nest” where we are safe- where we thrive- where Bethany is safeguarded and secure – where I feel safe and secure. 🙂

This morning, Bethany wanted to go to the church parking lot behind our house.

Alone.

She is 12, but I have never let her do this,

partly because she’s usually with Finley, Amy, & Cohen,

partly because she hadn’t asked

and partly because I like living in “my safe, comfortable nest”.

I started to say no.  A gentle nudge of His Spirit told me to loosen my grip and let her go.

Deep Breath.

“OK Bethany. Go through the cut through with your scooter. You may go to the church parking lot or our house, but no where else. If you hear me whistle (I can whistle like a banshee 🙂 ) you need to come home. OK?”

“Sure Mom!”  Bethany was already grabbing her scooter, eager to make her getaway while the going was good. LOL If you could have just seen the delight on her face!

Josh was leaving for work and he looked at me in shock and concern. “What are you doing, mother? Letting her go by herself?! What if she doesn’t come back?” (this was a valid question because Josh still remembers the “wandering years” where we would all search frantically for Bethany since she had no sense of boundaries or danger.)

“I think I need to start giving her new freedoms Josh,

to succeed or fail. I’m letting her go.”

“Well, I don’t think I agree with any of this.” he mumbled under his breath as he proceeded to his car.

I stood on the porch and watched her go to the cut through. Then I ran inside, to the back of our house to our sun room so I could “spy” on her in the church parking lot.  There she was alone-  but smiling – no make that beaming; looking around at HER parking lot, celebrating her Victory of Independence!

I went back to clean the kitchen rejoicing for her new journey of freedom and enlarged boundaries.  Five to ten minutes later, I went back to check and she wasn’t there.  Rats!  I went to the door to whistle- and here comes Bethany, looking all the world like the Pied Piper; 3, new, smiling, laughing friends following behind her in a row.

“Hi Mom.  I’m gonna have a play date. These are my new friends;   Can we go the back yard and jump on the trampoline? Oh, we’re hungry too.  Can you get us apples please?”

“Well blow me down” as Popeye used to say.

How many opportunities for growth have I missed by

1. “fearing the outcome”

or

2. “being in constant protection mode”?

or

3. being comfortable in my nest?

Life is growth-

to grow we have to stretch past our old boundaries, shed the old restrictions, embrace new experiences, sometimes fail and sometimes succeed.

As a Mom, I need to remember that even though Beth has “special needs”, one of her needs is to grow and establish her independence.  This means I need to master the art of “Letting Go and Letting God!”

  Surprising Treasures: New Living Translation (©2007)
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.