Read Part 1 if you missed it by clicking here
Last night we had family dinner. Bethany was revelling in the presence of her siblings. She then decided I had made brownies because it was Micah’s birthday. This set a CIRCUS into motion Micah’s thanking her, candles are coming out, Jeff and I are trying to explain it’s not really Micah’s birthday, but she insists “YES- it is! Micah’s right.”
The Compromise:
We lit the candles and sing- “Happy Life to you- Happy Life to you- Happy Life EVERYBODY! Happy Life to you!” Then Bethany insisted everyone take a turn blowing out the candles.
Yet another incident: I gave her the heads up that home schooling would start in ten minutes. She came downstairs, dressed, with her coat and backpack. “I just go to Broken Arrow today, Mom. I ready go see my friends. We don’t home school today. When I “patiently” explained we were indeed home schooling first, she enlightened me, “But I can’t…Moriah says, AND I need go see my friends.”
OH- REALLY? She CAN’T? She NEEDS?
Another red flag incident that told me we needed to go and review the basic lesson of parenting. “Mom and Dad are in Charge 101.” I actually added 50 new gray hairs when the thought passed through my brain that the tweener/adolescence 
stage is sneaking up on us.
Bethany was playing Wii with her friend, Lyndsey. Jeff and I said, “Beth, we’re ready to go.”
She looked at us with a sweet, patient smile. She wasn’t being sassy, just very matter of fact: “OK. But first, we have to do Wii dance- two more songs, I need to get a drink, then I hug everybody, get my shoes, THEN we go home. That’s my plan and we don’t need to keep talking about it.”
“THAT’S MY PLAN AND WE DON’T NEED TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT?!?
(Like her plan trumps my plan? I think the mom gets the final word, thank you very much. :))
(Reminds me when our oldest daughter who shall remain nameless told us once, “But Mom and Dad, if you could just see things from my point of view, you would know I’m right.”)
Those crystalline moments moved into a montage of musings in my brain:
I began to wonder if God perceives me (His daughter)
the way I perceive Bethany (my daughter)?
I realized I make a lot of my life plans based on my own desires and the perk of being independent. Hey, I’m 52 now, I can do what I want, when I want- can’t I? I don’t like “my plans” be disregarded, questioned, or derailed. I like being in control of my life. In my mind, I have the plan, it works for me, I shared the plan, and we don’t need to talk about it.
I think the point God is trying to teach me is the same one I hope I can convey to Bethany. Being in control isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Being totally INDEPENDENT might be missing the big picture. I have Someone, wiser than I who can see the bigger picture and only wants to work things together for my good. So—- maybe, I need to focus less on my PLANS and INDEPENDENCE and realize to be really blessed, I need to be “in” DEPENDENCE and learn to listen to what His plan is and teach our children to do do the same.
Surprising Treasure: Depend on the Lord and his strength; always go to him for help. Remember the miracles he has done; remember his wonders and his decisions. Psalm 105:4
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That Surprising Treasure is such a gift from God – I recall the day it hit me, when I realized I was short-changing myself by trying to be my own god! (As a teen I had actually told God “You can have my heart, but I want some say about my life!”) By the time I was old enough to have a bit of experience about life, I discovered I could now thank God for NOT giving me what I thought I couldn’t live without at the time I prayed for it. It finally dawned on me that He knows everything and I don’t, so in His mercy He withholds what is contrary to His will and my best interests. (But, we still watch expectantly, to see just how He is working through every need and desire of our hearts.) Thanks for the great illustration, comparing Bethany’s maturing “in-dependence” to our own relationship with our heavenly Father!
LOL- I remember saying that to God too! There is so much to learn to “let go” of. He knows what He’s doing in this process called “growing up.” I feel like I’ve come full circle- when I was young- I wanted to grow up and be independent- Now, I want to be His child and be in “dependence” upon His grace.
LOL….I can so hear Bethany saying all of that…..that was cute and reminded me of Morgan. But the best part was the message. I for one have had “my plans” way too much lately. Time to listen to the Master Planner…..
“Out of the mouths of babes….” Isn’t that true Tim? Sometimes, we just aren’t “tuned in” because our plans make so much sense to us. 🙂
Jeremiah 10:23! Bethany’s next memory verse!
🙂
Catching up on past blogs… This one was timely for me. Thanks for your insight (as always!).
Thanks Linda- I just love having “insta-lessons” around me every day- between Finley, Cohen, and Bethany- I’m in “life” school pretty much all day. HUgs-
Read a whole bunch of your past posts. Good stuff and so relevant.
Thanks Mickey- you are such a blessing- 2:19 am eh? We could have chatted this morning.