The following story is shared by my “sister” in the Lord- Pam.  Recently, on Facebook, we were reconnected and I was grieved to hear she had been battling breast cancer.  As we visited, I was amazed at the journey of faith she has taken and how faithful God is to us all- even in our darkest moments and greatest challenges.  This is her story and testimony!

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I used to think, if you could personify

F  A  I  T  H  

it would look like a Marine-

perfect, powerful and commanding

fully clad in Dress Blues.

 One day I saw it…… I figured it was a cyst, albeit a large one, a cyst – no doubt. A month or two later, as the cyst was still there, I thought I should tell my husband. I did and convinced him there was nothing to worry about. The women in my family have a history of cysts. About a month later I told my pastor’s wife. She encouraged me to get it checked out…I had tests done. Every test, I dragged my feet, thinking it was all a waste of time and money…until I heard the technician say, “Do you see this feeding into the mass?” to the girl she was training. I knew what that meant, but could hardly fathom there was any truth to it.

A day or two later, my doctor called. I still couldn’t believe it. Certainly this could not be true. What should I do? Who has time to deal with this? I didn’t want to tell my husband, my children, my mom, my sisters, my pastor and his wife, my friends…It’s nothing. Why cause people to worry? I don’t like going to doctors.

 The next week, a man with a healing ministry, was at our church. Publicly I said what I needed prayer for…a very difficult thing for me to do. I like to keep these things private.

However, I also know that when things are brought to the light, God can then do what He needs to do.

I was directed to have more testing done. Every time I went for a test the diagnosis became progressively worse.  Multiple tumors were found during the diagnosis process. It was a given that the cancer had to be removed. It was trespassing. I agreed to have surgery as it seemed to be the consensus of the medial team and my family members. During surgery, lymph nodes were found to be infected. Stage 3 was the final prognosis.

Panic began setting in. I was not afraid of the diagnosis, but what they were going to do to me because of the diagnosis. Fear began terrorizing me. I could hardly think.

 I thought of the scripture in    Job 3:25

²⁵ What I feared has come upon me; 
   what I dreaded has happened to me.

I thought, now I’m really in trouble as I was not only afraid, but afraid that I was afraid…

Because I thought faith looked calm, cool, collected and regal, I figured I was not in faith and I quickly became a huge mess. I was in a mess and was a mess. How could I have walked with God for over 27 years and come up empty now? It just didn’t make sense to me. But, I could not pretend I wasn’t being terrorized with fear. I was scared. I became embarrassed. I have encouraged many people to walk by faith and not by sight.

You see, I thought, because of the tormenting fear invading my life, proved I had no faith. Now that the pressure was on, I thought I was failing to please my God.  I had fear…I thought it meant I had no faith…until I read:   Matthew 14:28-31

²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”   ²⁹ “Come,” he said.   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Now, I know that they were in the middle of a huge storm, but Peter didn’t seem to notice because he had his eyes on Jesus. Peter gets out of the boat and walks on water because Jesus told him to come. Peter was obedient. However, he began to notice the circumstances surrounding him were boisterous. He took his eyes off Jesus. He became afraid…but the treasure God showed me – Peter cried out, “Lord, save me”. Immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand and saved him.

Really? The presence of fear does not disqualify me from having God’s hand move in my life? I can still look to Jesus, cry for His help, be in faith, even when fear is present? Yes. A resounding yes.

Now, if you asked me what faith looks like, I would give you the visual of the marine, in a fox hole, sweating, dirty, scared, and fighting effectively to win.

God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Fear can be fought, but until it leaves, God will still help us when we cry out to Him. God is pleased with our faith.

God’s Surprising Treasure: Faith may not look regal, and may not be fear-free, but it is effective and pleasing to God!!!

      If you want to read more of Pam’s insights- click on this link…….