1. Start with THE ONE!
The One who is the Creator of all life. The One who has compassion on the weak, helpless, and needy. The One who understands our frame is but dust. The One who has set a plan into motion to redeem and restore His creation back to their full glory. Your child may have “special needs” or you may have heard a diagnosis that threatens to overwhelm you- Alzheimer’s, cancer, divorce, but that is not the end of the story.
Our life is but a dot on the line of eternity. Our problems are temporary!
To those who want to hang with God, He offers the “good life” – the abundant life” for eternity.
God is not only committed to making all things new- He’s 100% Capable!
If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, find someone who can explain how to get to know the One who has compassion and understands your deepest sorrows. He will come into your life and give you peace, strength, and wisdom as you face every challenge. Find Him- gain everything!
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2. Separate the label from your child–
Your child is a soul who lives in a body.
They may HAVE “downs syndrome, autism, williams syndrome, etc. but that’s not WHO they are! They are a gift from God and a blessing who happens to have a genetic or physical challenge that results from living in a fallen world.
Our daughter is Bethany-
NOT “one of those downs kids, retard, or mongoloid!”
Labels are for canned goods – not people! 🙂
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3. Grieve for the loss of dreams you had for your child- then take a deep breath and know “With God’s help, you’re going to get through this.”
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecc. 4:12
you + your spouse + the Lord = 3 fold cord
You are going to figure this out. You are going to help our child reach their potential and you’re going to choose to let this make you better not bitter.
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4. Information is power. Get plugged in- linked up- on track! 
The sooner you can understand what has just happened, the sooner it can snap into perspective and you can see that your child is FIRST and FOREMOST your child that just happens to have their “special needs” defined. Google is your friend- type in every question you have, read books, create a file of important facts.
Be prepared to fight the LABELS and LOW EXPECTATIONS. There are so many advances, breakthroughs, education, medicine, gene therapy, natural holistic methods, information and it’s burgeoning yearly. You are going to become your child’s best advocate and teacher so you need to “get up to speed” on the latest advancements concerning that disability.
Even if the information is something daunting, that offers no hope- information is the foundation of our understanding and acceptance. A phrase our society uses is “it is what it is”. True- but we need to add to that God’s very own character and promise, “I AM who I AM!
5. Surround yourself with supportive, positive family and friends.
Find people who you can open up to and be honest about your fears and questions. Put boundaries in your life and don’t allow ignorant, misinformed people to get in your inner circle! Find others who are further along in the same journey as yourself and ask them questions.
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6. GET your EP! (Eternal Perspective!)
Throw away your old ideas of perfection and definitions of success!
Ecc: 9:11 “I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time.”
Bad things happen to good people and unfair things happen to everyone. But God is still the Great I Am!
II Cor. 12:9 says, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
We are all jars of clay who can show His glory in our weakness.
Special needs bring special treasure and special trust in our Awesome God!
II Cor. 4:17,18 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
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7. CELEBRATE EVERYTHING!
I remember when Bethany was little and we cheered for EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT FORWARD. She jabbered 40 words but if she clearly spoke and repeated ONE word that was intelligible, the whole family would throw a party. She couldn’t jump on the sidewalk so we practiced on the trampoline until the repetitions payed off and she was able to translate jumping to the sidewalk. We danced, we clapped, we shouted!
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8. Start today. Do it tomorrow. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
One choice. One step. One decision .One building block, One component, One Victory at a time!
One times the number of days in a year is 365 new things learned- 2 years it is 730 new things attained- in 5 years it means 1825 ideas, facts, skills conquered. Don’t stop. Celebrate the Power of One! The secret is there is no such thing as “just” ONE! Nothing is isolated. One pebble thrown into a pond creates a huge circle of ripples. One learned fact sets into motion an electrical highway of connections in our brains. One conquered skill lays foundation to ever increasing learning blocks. So we begin to see the Power of ONE is really EXPONENTIAL POWER to transform and build in our lives.
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9. Find your balance- Make time for yourself (a healthy mommy is a happy mommy 🙂 ), for your spouse, and your family!
I admit, I struggle with this. It’s easy for me to put myself last, especially when I think other people have more important “needs” than I do. But I’m realizing to do the most good means to live a long, healthy life. It’s sobering to see the stats that say over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce if they have a child with special needs. Yes! They need you! But you need each other and two are stronger than one.
Having a child with Special Needs can consume your whole life. You have to find ways to not let that happen. Your other children need you; your attention, your affection, your time, your focus, your honest communication with them explaining how you feel. I tell my kids, I’m sorry if I get “sucked” into what Bethany needs. It’s so obvious- and you’re older now…your needs aren’t as obvious to me anymore. Would you please help me and tell me how I can help you? I still want to have fun with you and take the time to listen and help you with your life journey!”
10. Become a Treasure Hunter 🙂
We may not have control over what happens to us but we have control over how we react and respond to it.
I can be bitter, sad, negative, fearful, anxious, paralyzed OR I can set my heart and mind to discover the hidden treasure of our Awesome God! I believe the Bible tells the overarching story of a Perfect World, then fallen world where sin and sickness enter in, and a future world where God restores His creation back to His Perfection where sin, sickness, and death will no longer have power. And if that isn’t exciting enough, Isaiah tells us
“I will give you hidden treasures,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the LORD,
the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.”
Isaiah 45:3
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May the Lord lead and guide you to His awesome presence where the mother lode of all treasure resides!
